Sheltie. ♀ 23. ENTP. Bratislava. Socially awkward, might even sound rude. Mostly harmless.
Elementary, Sherlock, Breaking Bad, House MD, Dexter, Gravity Falls, Adventure Time, Hannibal, Desperate Housewives, FRIENDS, WTNV, SPN, Bones, DW, TW, HP, HGttG, SP, Community, Misfits, 40sth, The Office (UK), LotR, Skins (UK), IT Crowd, Merlin, TBBT, LoG, Psychoville.
Bachelor of Kynology. Special Animal Husbandry student. Worked as a dog trainer and vet nurse.
Gryffindor. Nerdfighter. Got a girlfriend. And a dog. And rats. Draws occasionally. RPs a lot.
If I follow you, yes, I care about your garden, what your cat did today, the jewelry you made, that one friend who said the thing, i like your sense of humor, and also your selfies.
I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails
THIS TOOK ME FOREVER. BUT IT IS FINALLY DONE.
Enjoy the character line up!
(Please don’t repost, alter or remove source from image.)
they saved her life
Y’all don’t understand what this scene means to me. This Christian girl wearing the flower crown and the white bedsheet was going to murder Piper for not kowtowing to her homophobic bullshit. Like, Piper is out here about to get shanked when the inmate counselor is within ear shot and can see what’s about to go down. Piper calls out for help, and the counselor turns his back and leaves, knowing full well that Piper might die. This is what a lot of Pacifists don’t understand: you can not react in a non-violent manner to someone who is trying to kill you. You have to be able to use the appropriate amount of force to disarm them, and thanks to these fantastic women of color, Piper didn’t die. This scene was everything.
I’ve been waiting my whole life for this gif set